Off to Bangkok and Taiwan Tomorrow
Will be flying off for my BKK and TPE trip tomorrow, kind of looking forward for the trip but yet I dread the packing of my room before my trip cos I NEED TO PACK MY ROOM COS MY FAMILY IS GOING TO MOVE WHEN I AM NOT AROUND!!! Anyway I think it is better for me not to be around else I be piss when I see all the moving etc.
I be away from 19 Dec to 26 Dec :) Hope really can take a good relax break during these few days :)
未來
Saw this in another blog and thought it kind of fit into my life right now.
本來已經決定的種種事物又似乎變了樣 未來是個未知
本來已經肯定的種種事物又似乎不肯定了 未來又是個未知
說穿了似乎為了逃避許許多多不如意的，麻煩的 而想離開
Sianz
I realise my life is just full of sadness these days :(
Relation - Problematic
Family - Problematic
Work - Problematic
Just got a tick off by my boss again even when I am not in fault, what is the world becoming?
I will make sure I keep it in black and white next time when my boss ask me to do things or arrange for meetings.
Super low mor and sad :( Super bad year for me :(
Someone please kill me......
Pissed
I have not been slping for the whole night. I am so piss, sad, unhappy and angry with Kel, he just so inmature, stuborn, wilful, spoilt, ego etc etc in whatever description that you can think of......
Had a quarrel with Kel again, we just have so many disagreement. We simply see, think, view and do things in diff ways to a extend that maybe we would be better off without each other.
How can I ever trust myself to lean on him for the future? I just dont know when will his ego overtakes his strength in thinking straight again. He simply refuse to listen, always think he is correct till he got to face the music for the decision he made. He even blame me for not being a supportive gf, when me the gf have to be supportive on whatever decision he makes. But I can never do that against my wish when to me what he did was not correct and realistic. I refuse to wear a mask just to make him happy. I just hate this kind of life. I just feel so unstable, rocky, insecure by what he thinks and do. He makes me feel so scare to take the big move, yar he just make me certain that we just not ready to spend the rest of our lives together.
I never had a stable and peaceful life since young. All I want now is to lead a simple, stable, happy and peaceful life.
I realise Kel has never been around when I needed him. Where was he when I needed someone by my side? Where is the support he himself says when I needed them? He has trained me into someone so independent that right now I dont even needs him to be there when there is the need.
I have always yearned to be love and pamper by my bf, yet i never feel that way. Even in hug n kiss. Kel is so stingy in them that right now I feel so disgust when he tries to give me a hug or a goodbye kiss, I tend to avoid them so often. Isnt that pathetic?
Thank you so much Mr. Kel.
I am just so tempted......very tempted........
A Walk with Kel
Spent the day with Kel and realise that both of us really got nowhere to go and nothing to do. Boring right? Isnt dating suppose to be full of fun, laughter, activities even nothing to do also should be happy cos the one you love is just beside you? I guess this is just not for both of us.
After dinner, I told Kel maybe we should take a walk at the nearby Bishan Park cos in my memory I dont quite remember when was the last time we walk there hand in hand. But the walk didnt turn out well, maybe the feel is not good. We got nothing much to talk, and halfway thru not even half of the park, Kel said nothing much infront maybe we should turn back :( blah :( A walk in the park needs to have thing in front to see than can walk? A walk isnt it just like walking hand in hand in leisure, taking your own sweet time etc talk about anything just enjoy the company of each other? I guess this is just not us or maybe just not him again :(
In the car, I asked him did we ever walk frm J8 back to my place? He replied no, I was sad not sure why but maybe maybe and maybe there just not much fond memories of him and me together. And I really dont quite like his sentence, you just too emotional, think too much, and want things as if in Taiwan series.
Hai~~ maybe he just dont understand...........I am not happy.....I just want some quiet sweet happy time together.....fond memories that I could fill up the space in my heart that he left..... memories that I could tell my children or even grandchildren again and again that how gd kel is.....Is this too much to ask for? Is this counted as I am just living in my dreams and only Taiwan series will have?
He just makes me feel I am asking for too much :(
