What Age Do You Act?
Did a quiz just now and below is the result :)
You Are 16 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Still Unhappy
I am still unhappy.
Can someone tell me what to do?
I need a break. A break from everything and everyone.
Unhappy
I am not happy.
I am sad.
I really dont know how to handle things between Kel and me.
Last time was "Its a gathering with army frens, all guy, you go for what."
Yesterday was "Its a farewell dinner, you go for what."
Today was "Business Trip, you go for what."
Already there are so many things I got to adjust myself to accept Kel now there are still so many unspoken rules to this relationship. I really feel so tired and just cant take it any longer.
I am so uncertain right now. I am so confuse right now. I am so hurt right now.I feel he is not a good bf, will not be a good husband and will never be a good father too.
The 2 things he is good in are to sleep and to act as though nothing happen. Trust me, he's really good in these 2!
====================================================All he know is SLEEP. Be it just 5 mins or 5 hours, any little time he has on hands he will just sleep. Today, I am the one driving, all he do was sleep, you know some times it was as though I am the only one in the car even when he was just beside me.
What kind of boyfriend do I have? Seriously I not sure myself. All he knows is sleep, when we go out all he knows is to watch movie. I think I really hate this kind of life, I feel its really a waste of time when one can make use of this time to really do something happier to our already on the rocks and going to be gone case relation so that the relation would become better but all he know is to sleep and suggest we watch movie.
I am really scare of this kind of life.
====================================================Guess what apart from having hell from Kel today. I got hell from my work today too.
I got a scolding from my manager today. And its not even my fault, I got so fed up but there's nothing I can do but to just cry quietly at my desk.
I hate my work. I hate my life. I hate myself. And Kel is not helping at all.
Why I feel this way?
Sometimes, I felt left out by Kel, I do mean it. Not that I dont allow him to go out with his frens or col or whatever alone but he always gave me a feeling of not wanting to bring me at lots of time, like as if I cant be seen or I just that worst till he dont dare to bring me out to meet up with his frens. Be it cols, ns frens or long time friends, the excuse he gave would be like it's a all guys gathering, what for bring u go. It's a col farewell dinner, no reason for u to go etc etc etc. Hello, I try to bring him go to whatever gathering even when its a all girls gathering unless when really cant like the girls make it a point to says NO else I would want him to go so that he knows who and who I am mixing with. But to him he rather no bring me maybe I just too ugly to be seen together with him.
Together with him for almost 6 years and I still havent meet so many of his so call good frens or buddies and there is just this group of invisible frens he has that I am super curious about yet throughout these 6 years I never got a chance to meet them at all. Sound strange but it's true! 6 years he just gave me reasons like no time, they are not free blah blah blah for 6 years *faintz* but when I'm not around his frens start to be free, calling him asking him out or chat. Even his cousin will be free to go out with him. Only when I am around they are all gone. Just like last month for a continous of few weeks, there is this fren of his that will called either on Sat or Sun to just ask him out and everytime he would just says not free so who is the one not free? Just cos I am beside he just do not want me to go! Maybe I just not good enough for him to bring me out to meet them? He just too ashame of having me as his gf.
Ya I just not good enough for him and to be seen with him. Sad but I am just feeling this way right now.
And what can be more worst than this, I am having an interview tomorrow at 8.30am and I am feel damm lousy right now due to the outbursed by him in the car just now. I am trying to get over by keeping real quiet, cooling myself down by looking out at the window but he just cant leave me alone and got to pick a damm quarrel with me. If you have noticed! I am just avoiding another quarrel with you cos I am just too tired with the whole series of quarrel every week!! Give me a break! Anyway I know you cant.
Backdated Pics
Woke up and cant get back to sleep so decided to log on and post the backdated pics long ago.
Things I bought not so long ago but not all pics are here yet some havent have the time to take pics.
Bought a total of 3 bags and I still got 1 that I bought in Jan that I havent use. But just cant help it :)
Too lazy to post up more pics so that all for now :)
Work Work & Work
Wanna to blog but whenever I logged on to my notebook, I will just start to work, am I becoming a workaholic?
I am starting to perform in my work but I still not sure of this job of mine, maybe it just not so much of what I want and love, that y I am still not settle down in my job even when results are showing.
I am having an interview well to be honest, I dont think it is what I want too but at least it is something related to what I have studied. Details after the interview not now. Wish me good luck.
I am so tired. I need sleep.
Why?
I feel so drain and tired from my relationship with Kel. Really tired.
Isnt a couple suppose to be able to tell any and everything to each other?
Arent they suppose to be just like best friends?
Why is he telling me the opp instead that there should be mutual understanding that there should be some things better to be left untold to the other party?
Why?
Spa
This afternoon I got a surprise from Kel.
He bought me to the Wellness Village Spa at Pan Pacific Hotel!
I was really surprise that he actually bought me there. I wanna to go to Spa for so long.
It was a really good experience, felt so relax after that. The treatments for today alone cost almost $300 but we both enjoyed it :)
Guess what? We signed up a package for 30 treatments that cost us a bomb! But I thought it will be worthwhile!
Will put up the pics soon with details, but for now just the above :) and I went shopping today too bought quite a few things, pics will be up soon too I hope so. Always feel so happy after a great day, just hope the day will end happily too.
简爱
一分钟足够送你上班
三分钟足够吃个午餐
七分钟可足够去看灯饰璀璨
从未嫌短暂
多一天给你处理账单
少一天可占据你臂弯
得一天可否与我去放松偷懒
留给我时间
期望能开开心心拍过拖
凡事从简简单单那算多
难道求快快乐乐也成为罪过
我不必管对错若你更珍惜我
如若曾精精彩彩拍过拖
还用凭真真假假计算么
来日如孤孤单单那又如何
昨天得你喜欢我今天我可一个过
天一光令人无从回味
天一黑令人无从逃避
天空中仿佛欠缺爱恋的空气
难独寻绮丽
不贪心想你带我远飞
不痴想跟你爱到喘息
只想把心中爱意作简单处理
无非挂念你
期望能开开心心拍过拖
凡事从简简单单那算多
难道求快快乐乐也成为罪过
我不必管对错若你会珍惜我
如若曾精精彩彩拍过拖
还用凭真真假假计算么
来日如孤孤单单那又如何
昨天得你喜欢我今天我可一个过
若你真正喜欢我只需要紧紧抱我
3rd Post for the day
It's 8.40 AM.
The sky is bright and clear.
My mood is dark and blue.
My body is tired from not sleeping.
My brain is too active to close and sleep, repeating every single words from last night.
My sore throat and cough is getting worst again and flu is on the way to catch up with the cough. My stress level is always shown out by getting more sick. Haaaa funny *Bleh*.
I am emotionally and physically drain.
What a day to start with.
LAME
I havent slept AGAIN. Nothg special already. If you have guess correctly, yeah we quarrelled again. See even when I tried to keep my mouth shut up, not giving any suggestion, do any talk or telling him how I feel we still quarrel. The thing is when we quarrel he can still put the fault in me saying see here you goes again when I am the one keeping quiet! What is the problem with him can someone tells me?
Sometimes, I really wonder, wonder who I am really with, he's just like a stranger someone I dont even know.
I felt I am having someone selfish with me, someone who dont think and cant think.
I know 12 days leave per year is very precious because I am also having 12 days of leave per year if he still didnt know. But isnt it also precious to be able to spend time together with me? Doing something meaningful and fun together with the kids? Isnt that we should plan our leave together so that we be able to spend some time together? Or I am just having someone who is pure selfish and thinking spending time with me is a NO NO? I just flare up the moment he told me he cant take leave blah blah blah cos the hurt is there already done a week or 2 weeks ago if you dont know cos I didnt show it out to you. I just cried myself to sleep that night.
OK I already got the hint that you would rather take your precious leave and sleep and home then to spend time with me OR spend time with me together with the kids so I dont need to be remind again for this hurting truth that came out right from your mouth. It's already sad and hurt enough to know that I am not someone who you can take leave for so I dont need double blow from you to remind me that you cant take urgent leave, cant take normal leave for me.
From last time, you just kept on talking on, lets take the kids out blah blah blah now that the holiday are here, you just kept on telling me that your leave are precious when I didnt even ask you to take leave, isnt the reminder redundance? Cos I know you wouldnt ever take leave for me or for them. Imagine you could suggest that taking urgent leave cos you want to sleep yet last night you told you cant take blah blah blah. So tired of your nonsense. Kept saying that we can take them out after work, yet did you even think by the time you fetch them what time it is? Usually you reach Bishan is already almost 7 PM and now you got to go to Katong, taking the traffic into consideration you would need to put in another 30-45 mins and that would be almost 8 PM! Why dont you just dinner on your own then.
I just dont understand him at all. I feel sad. I at time even thinking that I should just ask him not to come along when I bringing the kids to their TKD class on Fri and Sat night, cos I always got a feeling that he is not happy and not willing at all. Maybe I should just ask him not to join us. Doing things together WILLINGLY is equal to spending happy time together but if he is doing all these unwillingly then I think there isnt any meaning at all right? Just like fetching me to work and from VIVO after work. I think I be better off going to and fro work myself. I dont need to worry about being late and him can leave home like 8.15 am so that he could spend his precious time sleeping longer in the morning cos I know to him being able to sleep even just an extra min would be heaven then to spend another min with me. I get this kind of feeling esp on Sun when we are out.
I know I am not important to you but please stop reminding me ok.
Now that I get things all clear on leave, I will just plan my leave on my own.
Thank you so much for letting me know how precious your leave are to you. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR REMINDING ME I AM NOT SOMEONE WHO IS PRECIOUS ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TAKE LEAVE AND SPEND TIME WITH.
What a wonderful bf I got right? Spoiling yet another happy day for me that's ending in just an hour time just now.
Sexless Marriages
Read these 2 articles
Bad sexI don't need to go into detail here, do I? Except to say that bad sex may get better after a first, fumbling time, but bad sex two or three times in a row is sex that only gets worse. Don't fool yourself into thinking that sex is just a small part of a relationship, that laughter and shared values are more important, etc., etc. They're not. Red flag. BIG red flag.
Sexless MarriagesDid you know that nearly one in five marriages is considered sexless? A sexless marriage is defined as sex no more than 10 times per year.
Not surprisingly, most sexless marriages feature a man who wants more sex and a woman who doesn't. There are certainly exceptions, but it's mostly men who are feeling left in the dust sexually. And it usually happens after kids. Here is an excerpt from a funny, but heart-breaking, post on Craig's List:
"Hey married ladies or guys, answer a question for me -- is it really such a chore to have sex with your husband/wife?
I'm one of the many husbands (possibly wives) out there who's kids tripped over the cord on the sex machine, ripping the plug right out of the wall. That humming and sputtering sound you hear is the machine slowly grinding it's way to a gear freezing halt, its future destination: the appliance graveyard under the sink where the Salad Shooter currently resides. Somebody help me out here -- what do you do when your partner in life is great in every other way, but is a passion(less) fish in the bedroom?
While, you yourself are one serious horn dog? For the sake of the kids, do you suck it up and be unhappy hoping and praying that your sex drive will start to wane? Do you continue to take matters into your own hands until you've exhausted every masturbatory move known to man including several you've taken it upon yourself to invent? I recommend the "Under the leg, Tiger Claw hold" -- patent pending. Do you consider taking anti-depressants just for the libido reducing side effect? Hell, I'm depressed anyway, might as well kill two birds with one stone."
Like most men/women in a low- or no-sex marriage, he/she feels ignored, rejected, desperate and stripped of the love and affection he once shared with his spouse. He/she literally doesn't know where to turn. He/she goes on to say:
"I am a good and considerate lover, always concentrating on his/her needs in the bedroom. I will happily go down on him/her for as long as he/she wants, and when I do the big O hits like a hammer. If that's the case, why doesn't she want it more often - I just don't get it...And no, I don't look like Quasimodo - I'm actually in good shape, and the same weight I was when we were married o so long ago. And, I'm not one of these dipshit husbands that goes out with his friends to play video games until the wee hours of the morning - I don't have any interest in an XBOX, I just want my wife's box. Nope, I get it - I buy her flowers, I do the dishes, I work as a partner around the house. I express affection even when I'm not looking for sex - okay, I pretend I'm not looking for sex. I don't have a drinking or drug problem, I'm not abusive, and I'm not a lazy piece of shit. No, I have a good job, I'm a good father, I'm reliable, responsible, and a really great guy - apparently humble too. On the weekends I stay with the kids so she can get a break, - I sincerely appreciate what she does for us, but being a stay at home Mom doesn't give her the right to neglect her husband."
Most men/women in sexless marriages feel bewildered and stay in the marriage for other reasons, like children or because they still love their spouse! But the threads that bind them together wear thinner and thinner the longer time goes on, and eventually, something breaks.
Sexless marriages are more than just sexually frustrating. Ultimately, when sex is infrequent or nonexistent, there is an emotional and spiritual connection to one's spouse that is missing. Working on the problem from the perspective of the relationship is the only way it's going to get "fixed." Sex is actually not the problem -- it's simply the way that deeper problems in the relationship are being communicated. Unconsciously and consciously, sex becomes an instrument of control and power in the relationship. And there are always two (or three) sides to the story.
Women vs Men
WIFE VS. HUSBANDA couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDSA husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATIONA man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHATA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENTA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight..Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for this kind of contest.
More Sick...
I think I got more sick after the quarrel with Kel last night. I been coughing non stop till I felt as if my lungs are going to be cough out. Worst when I am calling my clients :(
Why....
You know I have been having such a good day since this morning when I step into the office on hearing that I have a registration coming in till just now Kel got to spoilt my day.
It is just an hour more then I can end my day with a happier note eversince I started working. Yet why he got to do it again.
I am now back to the sad and depress Trina. Yup and if you have guess correctly, I am crying again. I dont know why I am just left with crying, crying is the only thing I am an expert in since I started my Aussie life with Kel. I just dont know what I can do apart from crying. Sometimes I really hope I can talk to someone but there is only my blog that I can confide in any time any day. Seem like 3/4 of the time I am crying while typing my blog. Isnt it pathetic to be living my life this way?
Some times, alot of times, I just want to run away from everything, my life, Kel, Singapore etc go to a far away place that no one knows me and can find me.
How can I not be in depression stage when my bf is like that. I really feel like killing myself.
First Deal!!!
I finally got my first deal today!!!
I am the first in the group to get the sales for this 2 days regional event :)
