Pissed
I have not been slping for the whole night. I am so piss, sad, unhappy and angry with Kel, he just so inmature, stuborn, wilful, spoilt, ego etc etc in whatever description that you can think of......Had a quarrel with Kel again, we just have so many disagreement. We simply see, think, view and do things in diff ways to a extend that maybe we would be better off without each other.
How can I ever trust myself to lean on him for the future? I just dont know when will his ego overtakes his strength in thinking straight again. He simply refuse to listen, always think he is correct till he got to face the music for the decision he made. He even blame me for not being a supportive gf, when me the gf have to be supportive on whatever decision he makes. But I can never do that against my wish when to me what he did was not correct and realistic. I refuse to wear a mask just to make him happy. I just hate this kind of life. I just feel so unstable, rocky, insecure by what he thinks and do. He makes me feel so scare to take the big move, yar he just make me certain that we just not ready to spend the rest of our lives together.
I never had a stable and peaceful life since young. All I want now is to lead a simple, stable, happy and peaceful life.
I realise Kel has never been around when I needed him. Where was he when I needed someone by my side? Where is the support he himself says when I needed them? He has trained me into someone so independent that right now I dont even needs him to be there when there is the need.
I have always yearned to be love and pamper by my bf, yet i never feel that way. Even in hug n kiss. Kel is so stingy in them that right now I feel so disgust when he tries to give me a hug or a goodbye kiss, I tend to avoid them so often. Isnt that pathetic?
Thank you so much Mr. Kel.
I am just so tempted......very tempted........
posted by Tritri @ 12:55:00 PM
<< Home