LAME
I havent slept AGAIN. Nothg special already. If you have guess correctly, yeah we quarrelled again. See even when I tried to keep my mouth shut up, not giving any suggestion, do any talk or telling him how I feel we still quarrel. The thing is when we quarrel he can still put the fault in me saying see here you goes again when I am the one keeping quiet! What is the problem with him can someone tells me?Sometimes, I really wonder, wonder who I am really with, he's just like a stranger someone I dont even know.
I felt I am having someone selfish with me, someone who dont think and cant think.
I know 12 days leave per year is very precious because I am also having 12 days of leave per year if he still didnt know. But isnt it also precious to be able to spend time together with me? Doing something meaningful and fun together with the kids? Isnt that we should plan our leave together so that we be able to spend some time together? Or I am just having someone who is pure selfish and thinking spending time with me is a NO NO? I just flare up the moment he told me he cant take leave blah blah blah cos the hurt is there already done a week or 2 weeks ago if you dont know cos I didnt show it out to you. I just cried myself to sleep that night.
OK I already got the hint that you would rather take your precious leave and sleep and home then to spend time with me OR spend time with me together with the kids so I dont need to be remind again for this hurting truth that came out right from your mouth. It's already sad and hurt enough to know that I am not someone who you can take leave for so I dont need double blow from you to remind me that you cant take urgent leave, cant take normal leave for me.
From last time, you just kept on talking on, lets take the kids out blah blah blah now that the holiday are here, you just kept on telling me that your leave are precious when I didnt even ask you to take leave, isnt the reminder redundance? Cos I know you wouldnt ever take leave for me or for them. Imagine you could suggest that taking urgent leave cos you want to sleep yet last night you told you cant take blah blah blah. So tired of your nonsense. Kept saying that we can take them out after work, yet did you even think by the time you fetch them what time it is? Usually you reach Bishan is already almost 7 PM and now you got to go to Katong, taking the traffic into consideration you would need to put in another 30-45 mins and that would be almost 8 PM! Why dont you just dinner on your own then.
I just dont understand him at all. I feel sad. I at time even thinking that I should just ask him not to come along when I bringing the kids to their TKD class on Fri and Sat night, cos I always got a feeling that he is not happy and not willing at all. Maybe I should just ask him not to join us. Doing things together WILLINGLY is equal to spending happy time together but if he is doing all these unwillingly then I think there isnt any meaning at all right? Just like fetching me to work and from VIVO after work. I think I be better off going to and fro work myself. I dont need to worry about being late and him can leave home like 8.15 am so that he could spend his precious time sleeping longer in the morning cos I know to him being able to sleep even just an extra min would be heaven then to spend another min with me. I get this kind of feeling esp on Sun when we are out.
I know I am not important to you but please stop reminding me ok.
Now that I get things all clear on leave, I will just plan my leave on my own.
Thank you so much for letting me know how precious your leave are to you. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR REMINDING ME I AM NOT SOMEONE WHO IS PRECIOUS ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TAKE LEAVE AND SPEND TIME WITH.
What a wonderful bf I got right? Spoiling yet another happy day for me that's ending in just an hour time just now.
posted by Tritri @ 4:37:00 AM
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