It Still Hurts......
These days for the past 2 months, Kel has been sending me poem everyday, if it was last time, I think I most properly be quite touch because he’s not someone who do these kind of things especially for me. I still can remember clearly that time when XiaoMao did a powerpoint thing to try get his gf back to his side, he still says so childish do this kind of bo liao thing so the other time when he did the powerpoint for me, I didnt have much feeling cos he already destroyed all the effects the last time he said on XiaoMao. Got the below poem from Kel on Sat but didn’t read it till Sun. I think what the poem wrote really hit the target because halfway thru the poem, I can felt my tears rolling down my face. For don’t now how many times in the past 3 months, I force myself not to think of all the incidents that Kel did which hurt me so badly yet I guess this poem really just dug out everything which I had locked up deep inside my heart.One day a long time ago
I made an awful mistake.
Why, I just don't know
but it's caused a lot of heartache.
I was so angry and so scared
I didn't know what to do.
Now you think that I never cared
I don't know how I could hurt you so bad
I loved you with all of my heart.
Now we are both alone and sad
because I have cause us apart.
I wanted us to be together forever
and you always said that we would.
But we couldn't get past the stormy weather
I don't know why I ever thought we could.
I guess sometimes you want something so badly
that you would do anything to get it.
Please come back to me.
And just now, I not sure why I just went back to read my entries on my most miserable part of the relation, I cried even harder. I realize I really haven’t got over all the past hurts etc that why it is still hurting so much right now. I haven’t been crying for ages not within these 3 months of not talking to Kel. But today I cried to my heart content, I think my eyes were swollen because my parents ask why my eyes like swollen like that. I just told them the contact lens dirty that why my eyes feel uncomfy.
I thought I can face anything, everything, yet I knew right now I can’t.
posted by Tritri @ 10:34:00 AM
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