Tell or Not Tell?
Sometimes, I really wonder is it good or no good for me to tell my bf my real feeling. But from what I experience after so many years and esp last night, I realise I should just keep quiet and keep everything bottle up inside me would be a better idea.I always thought it would be good for a couple to be able to tell their true feeling out whenever there is problem, be it good or bad feeling esp bad feeling cos at least when I let the other party know why I am feeling so negatively, he would be able to make things better next time in the long run which would do the relationship good. But I suppose this just dont apply to my partner. Cos to him whenever I tried to let him know how I feel, it just turns out to him that I am grambling and nagging when I didnt even fed up or what. This he told me himself last night. I thought I was strike by lightling in my heart. So telling him wasnt a good idea afterall, I really should just keep quiet and not tell him how I feel esp when my feeling is negative towards him.
You know, I really feel so hmm I just dont know how to describe my feeling but can only says I dont feel good. Feel so crappy. Talked to my best friend these few nights, she too can sense unhappiness in my tone when I spoke to her, yet I dont know why, I just cant voice out whenever I really want to tell her what went wrong exectly. All I felt was I am just going to cry out yet on the verge of my tears falling, everything just stop, cos there was no tears able to fall down. Even right now when I am typing this entry, I can feel my tears wanting to fall yet they just too stuborn to let it show out.
Last night, my best friend told me something which really makes me thinks hard. "Maybe when you are thinking of break off, he is too thinking of that even when at this moment he still ask you not to break, wants you back or whatever yet dont be too surprise when he suddenly just says break off cos man are like that." Maybe, he too is thinking of this. Sometimes, I just felt men are just very selfish, when girl says break, they will do anything just to keep you with him but when it is the other way round, things change, they can be so cruel. I think this is the thrill and excitment they gets everytime they get something they want.
I just felt so tired so miserable that I am not able to cry out like what I used to be able to whenever I feel sad, happy etc etc.
posted by Tritri @ 8:56:00 AM
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