Back in Brissy and sad
Back in Brissy for about a week. I wondered is it me or Brissy, why am I always sad back here? I thought I should be happy since he is here with me yet that is not true. I felt even more sad and lonely.Feeling so upset with him. When was the last time I felt close to him? I think that so long ago till I am about to forget what the feeling of being close? Hint to him, told him straight in the face even make the first move well I guess that make me so damm ***** and ***** yet what did I get in the end? Nothing but the same rejection, reaction and answers from him. Maybe we been together for too long that he no longer feel attract to me. No matter what I says doesnt bother him at all, and he can just treat nothing happen the next day or even the next moment. Isnt that sad? Being close mean so much to me yet he just cant understand. Being close just shown how much we feel about each other, how much we love each other etc. My heart is like a thousand pieces now. So hurt and painful.
Seriously, I been thinking so much these days even back in Singapore when we are having our holidays. Are the both of us suitable together, maybe that is not that case and we should just let each other go. What the use of hanging on to the relation when he's like no longer interested in me? I dont feel love at all. I dont feel close to him at all. But he claim he did so much change for me but I am just trying to pick on him everyday.
I just hate the feeling he is giving me. I gave him back his ring 2 days ago and the donkeys he bought for me in Brissy last night.
Sleeping is so much more important to him then trying to make me have a change of heart and trying to be close to me. Just like today, got home and that it he is sleeping again. DAMM IT! EVEN THE MATTRESS IS SO MUCH MORE ATTACTIVE THEN ME!!! ARGHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS!!! How could I still be together with him, I am worst than a mattress. Oh my GOD!!! I think he should just get himself a maid and a mattess would be enough for him cos I think that what he needs most and not me.
I have never ever been so down in my life not even what happened between me and Tingfeng had affect me so much. I just felt so lousy, no use at all.
Maybe I just a lousy girlfriend afterall that he cant even be bother with me.
posted by Tritri @ 1:55:00 PM
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